punkrockdirection:

sometimes i forget im a real person

1nd2rd3st:

if only all the walking i do in video games burned calories

witness-protection-with-wings:

i’m gonna pop some salt

only got a .45 in my pocket

i-i’m a huntin’, lookin’ for some demons

this is all your fault dad

octopenis:

An Atheist and a Christian sit down at a bar. They both knock back a few drinks and enjoy each others company because they aren’t pretentious assholes.